Last night I woke up in the middle of the night all sweaty and scared. I was having a very disturbing and overwhelming nightmare. There were people (mainly relatives) from my past, my childhood home and my grandparents home. Everything was very confusing and pressuring.
And now I'm thinking do I dare to go on with this blog? There are so many things I have forced myself to forgive and to forget. What is going to happen if I let it all out? Is it really going to help me, or is it going to make me as miserable as I once was? This blog was just going to begin, I hadn't even written hardly anything about those things that have been haunting me. Do I dare to reveal my darkest secrets?
Even though I have these doubts now, I still want to believe I'm doing the right thing here. What I have experienced, what I have done have mold me to be the person I'm now, right? I have to go through this. To look all what has happened eye to eye and then finally let it all go. So that I can finally be free.
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