Dream Life

My Au-Pair year was a dream come true. I did not go to U.S. though, decided to stay in Europe instead.

If I should consider  one word how I'd describe how I first felt when I moved away from home, it would be Free! i was free from my parents, free from that little town that I hated, free from everyone's expectations. Nobody knew me, I could do (almost) everything I wanted. Suddenly it felt like the whole world (well, at least Europe) was open for me!

After about one month I met Peter. I was coming back from a party and there he was at the bus stop, waiting for the same bus as I was going to take. Peter was very tall, handsome, strong build and his smile seemed to lighten the whole world (and he was smiling all the time). In the bus he came to sit next to me and we talked the whole way back home just to discover that we lived only about 300 meters apart. I fell for him head over heels that night and so did he.

After that night we were inseparable. I had had boyfriends before, but Peter was my first big love. The whole year was like a dream, everyday was a new adventure with him. From the beginning we knew that we have only about 9 months together. Maybe because of that we did not want to lose a second of our time together. It felt that we couldn't get enough of each others, like we were just one person breathing with the same heart. We travelled together all around Europe, we did crazy things (e.g. like making out on a park bench on a cold autumn night), we went for long walks and bike trips, partied and got wasted together (once I was so drunk that I couldn't bike by myself anymore and Peter put me on the back of his bike and biked all the way, about 10km holding me with one hand at the same time, that I wouldn't fall). Every single day when I saw him I ran to him and he lifted me up with his strong arms and whispered into my ear something like "My girl, I love you so much". My lips were all the time literally swollen from kissing so much. We never argued during that 9 months, ever. Because of Peter, I felt loved like never before, I felt I was where I should be and with the person I should be with.

The day I had to go back to my home country was the worst day in my life so far. We had no idea what would happen next. The only plan we had was that Peter would come to visit me on his summer holiday. At the airport I was a wreck and I wouldn't want to let go off Peter. I had to force myself to walk to my plane. I cried the whole way back home. All my family, my parents, Alex and both of my grandparents were picking me up from the airport and they had organized a welcoming party at home. Of course I was happy to see them, but at the same time my heart was in pieces and I felt stronger than ever that I do not belong there.